To Brighten Your Day

I was tempted to post something dismal and discouraging because it's been a really tough couple of weeks. And then my Dad sent this to me and it brightened my day so much, I thought I'd share ...

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation."

The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story.

"Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.

Everything clear?' I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?' 'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door.

'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'

Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me ... half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part mashed between glass! After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'

'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said 'Case Dismissed!!'

Easter

First Easter in 10 years with no grandchildren around. *sigh*

There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou - Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed.
~~Emily Bronte

Sunday Picture

Okay. Got back a bit ago with a new picture.



They should go home tomorrow.

Pictures of David Robert

Davey:


Davey and his Daddy:


Davey has lungs:


But he's very calm, too:


Robert feeding his little man:

Welcome David Robert

Little David Robert Weaver made his arrival in wee small hours of the morning via cesarean section--and no wonder. The little man weighed in at 10 lbs 7 oz and 23 inches long.

Now we know why poor Michelle was in labor for a week and wasn't progressing.

Will post pictures later.

It's Not Alzheimers!

Ed just sent me a text to let me know his 3-hour comprehensive memory test and exam is over. It's not Alzheimer's!! Evidently he is under so much stress that it's caused two of his brain centers to misfire and cause him to be in the Fight or Flight mode 24/7. The doctor is recommending some counseling to help redirect his coping skills.

An Irishman's Life Philosophy

"In life, there are only two things to worry about, either you are well, or you are sick.

If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, but if you are sick, you have two things to worry about; either you will live, or you will die.

If you live, there is nothing to worry about, if you die, you have two things to worry about; either you will go to heaven or to hell.

If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about, but if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with your friends, you won't have time to worry!"