Friday, October 15, 2010

I am so busted!

I got so busted this week -- twice! A little background first, though. Every once in a while I have an electrical malfunction in my heart, also known as heart palpitations. I've had weird little flutters since my son Robert was a baby (so for 25 years). I asked my doctor at the time about it, and after asking me a few questions he said there was nothing to worry about.

Only three times have I had any concern about it. The first time was perhaps 10-12 years ago when I was exercising (in fact, that's the only time it's ever happened while I was exercising) it didn't stop for perhaps half an hour. I went to the doctor afterward and he did an EKG and referred me to a cardiologist. Everything was fine. They would have liked me to wear a 24-hour heart monitor, but the frequency of the flutters was so irregular--I could literally go months with nothing--that they decided it wouldn't help.

A couple of years ago, it happened again and lasted long enough that hubby and I decided a visit to the ER (it was in the middle of the night of course) might be in order. Unfortunately it had stopped by the time we got there, and since everything else was fine, they sent me home.

Early Tuesday morning of this week I had another episode. This was a little different from the previous two because it was much more vigorous, but also because this was the first time I experienced dizziness, light headedness, and shortness of breath (symptoms of a heart attack).

At first I thought to describe the sensation of this episode as various parts of my heart dancing different dances all at the same time (one doing Hip Hop, one doing the Twist, while the others were doing the Waltz). But I realized last night that the best description for one section was like holding one of those big bouncing balloon-type balls with a large rubber band and bouncing it off your hand as hard a you can. The ball goes every direction and you move your fist so you can impact with it and send it back out flying again. That really portrays what it felt like in the bottom left part of my chest--someone was doing that to a section of my heart.

Hubby and I went to the ER, and for the first time someone was able to hear it (the triage nurse). Unfortunately it had stopped by the time they got me hooked up to the machine to record it. Because of my other symptoms they drew blood (looking for an enzyme that's produced during a heart attack), did an EKG, and even X-rayed my heart (this visit is going to be expensive). The blood work came back negative for a heart attack (good news), but they do need to figure out what's going on. They gave me a page and a half list of the different kinds of Cardiac Arrhythmias (irregular heartbeat). Who knew there were so many types?

Because my heart was being defiant and wouldn't act up for an audience, they put me into a 24-hour, take-home heart monitor and sent me on my way. I'm too old to do well with short nights, and I have a hard time sleeping during the day, so I felt pretty crappy--I would have felt that way just from the short night. Fortunately, I did experience a few very mild little flutters for the benefit of the monitor while I was wearing it. I've got an appointment with my regular Doc to examine the results and decide what to do now.

Eventually on Tuesday I emailed my daughter Erin to let her know what had happened, and talked to her later on Skype, when I saw that she was online later in the day.

Busted #1.

She was furious with me for not waking her up when we decided to go to the ER. I made lame excuses, but she chastised me thoroughly and guilted me out. Nothing like having your children play the parent with you. =D

Um, did I mention she's the only one I told about it?

While I was having dinner with my daughter-in-law, Kelsey (and her mom and sister) on Wednesday night before we went to see Thriller, I suddenly remembered it and realized I hadn't told my son Paul (her hubby). Of course Kelsey told Paul.

Busted #2.

I got a call from him yesterday afternoon, and he commenced to read me the riot act. He told me I was like a mother to him (I am his mother, by the way), and I absolutely must let him know if something like this happens. My hubby has so many health issues that Paul expects him to drop dead at any moment (hubby will probably outlive me, much to his--hubby's--personal disappointment). Paul was trying to be funny, but I could hear the real concern in his voice. His wife's older brother (26 years old) dropped dead earlier this year, and Paul was there at the time and tried to do rescue breathing on him. It's an issue that hits very close to home for him. Plus my boss dying of a heart attack two weeks ago made that possibility very much front and center of all our thoughts. So, of course I felt like crap (as I was meant to).

Anyway, as I write this I realize I never let David know. So, I guess I'm doing it now since they read this blog.

I imagine I'll get getting Busted #3 soon.

Sorry guys. If it happens again, I'll be sure to let you know ASAP.

Love you!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thriller

Well, we went to Thriller last night. The dancing was incredible and some of those storylines were seriously macabre!


This is Kelsey's mom Deb, Kelsey (my daughter-in-law), her sister Jessie, and a Zombie. It was hysterical because Deb is one of those people who make it all worthwhile by being creeped out as the Zombies crawl up to you and get right in your face.




Here Jessie is taking a picture of us with another accommodating Zombie.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Musings

I'm so excited for NaNoWriMo and the story I'm writing. My WiP#1 is an adventure/romance and WiP#2 is SciFi. This one is going to be my attempt at middle grade fantasy. I'm going to use my oldest granddaughter as the inspiration for the main characters, and I've already collected names she likes and doesn't like, her tastes in food, clothing, and music for the MCs.

When it's completed, Paul (one of my artistic sons) is going to do some artwork for it, and I'm going to have one or two copies published. I'll give one to her and keep the other.




Ever feel like your personal mirror is lying to you? I know I'm no lightweight, but I swear when I get ready for work I look a lot better in my bathroom mirrors than I do in other mirrors or windows. What's with that?

I've always struggled with my weight, but I work out regularly and I'm sure the amount of lean body mass I have is higher than one would expect from someone my size. It's just frustrating. I keep thinking as I approach those "golden" years where your hair is gray and your skin is wrinkly and saggy that I'll be more resigned to the grandmotherly *coughdoughboycough* figure, but so far it ain't happ'nin'.

*sigh*

I think it's a conspiracy.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Early Happy Halloween!

Dedicated to (most) of my grandkids!
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

NaNoWriMo 2010

I did it; I signed up. If you've signed up, I invite you to add me as a buddy. I'm Donna KW.

This should be interesting ...

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tough Week

It's been a week of extremes. On the one hand I attended the Book Academy conference on Thursday at Utah Valley University. I was very impressed, both with the way the conference itself was run and with the caliber of instructors and panelists they assembled. I love being taught by published authors. I didn't realize the university does this every year. I will definitely be looking to attend again. Lots of stuff to consider.

On the emotional end I attended Jim's funeral today. They shut down the city, so the employees could attend. The employees wanted to do something, so they pitched in and paid for the grave and cost to inter. In fact there was so much money collected that they'll be able to purchase a second plot. I'm grateful for my belief in a life after this one. It gives great comfort to think of the family reunion he's having.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Next Great Adventure

Tonight an incredible person went home. I had the privilege of working for him for the past 13 1/2 years. He was intelligent, compassionate, far thinking, and always in for a good joke. He loved God, his family, his neighbors, his employees.

He was always looking at how things might impact other people, looking for ways to make things better. It was a joke around the workplace that when we weren't sure what to do, we'd ask ourselves WWJD (the J was for his name--and it was not to be disrespectful of the other J that letter stands for). Coincidentally, before the heart attack that took his life, my deputy and I had just asked ourselves that very question this afternoon, and we made the choice to follow the spirit of the law rather than the letter--and serve the community ... just as he would have done.

This man took a chance and placed me in a management position, when I'd had very little experience in it. I hope I never disappointed his confidence in me.

My heart goes out to his family at this time of loss. I know he's in a good place (what Dumbledore called the next great adventure), but I feel for their loss. I know what it's like to come home to an empty house ... empty even when there are other people around. The husband who's not there anymore to talk to, plan with, joke with, love. The father who's not at your high school graduation. The grandfather you don't know except in pictures.

Most of all I think we'll miss his presence. His position was a very influential one, and he was always looking ahead, searching for ways to make things better for the employees he managed and for the community he served.

Jim, I'll be sure to make arrangements to have one of your rooms on the other side completely wrapped in foil as you inspired my immediate coworkers to do when I returned from my 25th wedding anniversary cruise. Who knows what you'll have in store for your family, when they finally join you!


Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

~~Henry Scott Holland