It started out pretty well with some of the kids coming over for a nice dinner--Erin and her kids, David and his family, Robert came by for a bit but his wife had to work, Paul and Kelsey came later since they were at her family's for dinner. Afterward, the vote was to watch the movie Forever Strong. It's an inspirational movie about an award winning Rugby team (here in Utah).
It all went downhill from there.
I'd made a double batch of brownies (that Ed could actually eat), but Dave found a piece of glass in his brownie. I had used a plastic bowl to fix the mixes, and the glass baking dishes didn't have any chips in them. It appears the glass shard was in the brownie mix itself--so I threw all those brownies away.
Paul and Kelsey arrived, but Paul seemed a bit of a grump. He says he doesn't like any kind of sports film, so he messed around at Ed's computer. Since we were halfway through the movie and continued watching it.
The grand kids kept going in and out of the house (and since the TV was facing the door, the evening sun was blinding). Eventually I told them they had to stay inside, so they went downstairs to play in the playroom. The movie finished, and I commented that Aidan hadn't come back in. While we were chatting, Erin must have decided to go check on him. She came in quite angry a minute later because we hadn't kept her daughter Madelyn from going outside, and Mad had run in the street.
But worse yet, Erin couldn't find Aidan. We hadn't realized we were supposed to be watching Madelyn and we were a little stunned, but we all jumped up to help search for Aidan.
After a few horrible minutes--poor Erin was so frightened--Paul found Aidan hiding on the back porch. Erin and Adam had both looked back there. The little stinker thought it was time to go home and didn't want to. Ugh!
Then as David and Shannon were leaving with their children, the topic of David's birthday last year came up, and I found out we'd really dropped the ball. Through oversight, inattention, or whatever lame excuse, the bottom line is that Dave had a birthday that had gone unacknowledged (except for my e-card) even though the family was gathered for a late celebration of Ed's birthday. What should have been a joint event was not, and Dave felt really bad.
Dave, if you read this and for what it's worth, I'm really very sorry. I wish I could take back your hurt. With you and your family moving to China, I don't know how many birthdays we'll be able to celebrate together, and I'm sickened that we blew the chance to party on the first one you'd spent in Utah since you were married. I know what's it like to have a sucky birthday, so I apologize for having contributed to a sucky birthday memory for you.
Anyway, I wasn't feeling very well yesterday. The pews at church are about the worst ever for my tailbone, and I ended up having to stand for most of the service--and that makes my lower back hurt.
I'm glad that at least Ed seemed to have a nice day.
7 comments:
Sorry it was such a bad day.I hope things are better soon.
For what it is worth, when someone is offended it is because they have chosen to take offense. They then should look into themselves as to why does it really matter. Personally, one should not expect others to go crazy over your birthday once you are an adult. (probably by the time you are 12)
Also, one should never ASSUME someone else is watching your toddler, even if it is a family gathering.
Just my never to be humble opinion.
Darcy, this is just a little too close to a bad experience I had when Grama King was living with us. I made a cake for part of a church treat basket that was going around at our small branch on Treasure Island. I was like 15 or 16, I think. I didn't think about the fact that it was Grama King's birthday. Dad was still getting used to not having mom around and was pretty clueless as guys can be. But the bottom line was that it was Grama's birthday and there was a cake baked, but not for her. She was terribly hurt. I still feel like crap about it. Was I the only one to blame? No. But I could have been less into me and have thought about it. I know people who at that terribly selfish age would have realized someone needed to bake Grama a cake for her birthday.
I guess it's justice that about 10 years later I was the one who had the birthday from hell. It was the 2 month anniversary of Pat's death. Everyone was a little late getting things in the mail, and so on the actual day I got nothing. I finally decided to bake a cake for myself. David asked who the cake was for (he was 4) and got really excited that it was my birthday. He wanted to know where the presents were at. I asked him who was going to give me presents. He was quite upset and made sure that someone took him shopping for Christmas to make sure I got a present.
See, of all people, I should have been more sensitive to this. I'm concerned about Dave feeling hurt--been there, done that; I know what it's like. I just should been more alert. And Dave wasn't looking for people to make a big deal of his birthday--just to acknowledge it. See, we really did drop the ball.
In honor of one of my favorite fictional heroes (Dobby the house elf), I need to iron my hands.
Mom, Its Ok. Luckily I don't ever really hold grudges! =) Thanks for the apology, though. I know it was something that just slipped your mind. But it was definitely awkward to say the least. Under other circumstances I probably wouldn't have felt left out or anything. Its ok if you forget a birthday. Heaven knows I forget my share of them. I think it was these circumstances mostly that made it hard for me. Here we were celebrating Dad's birthday late, and we waited until it was a day before mine, and everyone is singing to dad and we had cake for dad and people were giving presents to dad, and no one said or did anything to even acknowledge mine. I don't need a big bash or anything, but if we are going to sing and have a cake and all that, it would have been nice to have it for both of us, you know. That is all I wanted. I did get your card though, so it wasn't like you completely forgot about it. So no worries. I still love ya, and I'll even let you take me out to lunch to make up for it. How does that sound? =) Love you Mom.
Just to point out my side of things; I went outside to look for Aidan, I said I was looking for Aidan. I assumed that the many other grownups in the room could possibly help out (since my husband wasn't there)to keep an eye on my baby. I guess I was wrong. Maybe I just shouldn't come over if Spencer can't be there to help me out.
PS, don't get pissed at me for posting things that you think are embarassing on your blog if you do the same to me.
Why would I get pissed at you, Erin? We didn't hear you say you were going outside until you suddenly came in angry at us.
It was an unfortunate--and scary--event, even before you couldn't find Aidan. It's the kind of situation that happens too easily and that's when little kids die (we hear on the news all the time when a child falls in a pool because everyone else thought someone else was watching the child). We can all learn from the experience without having had something terrible happen to Madelyn, so in a way we're fortunate. <3
And Dave, I would love to take you out to lunch. If you recall, last year I TRIED to take you out to lunch several times for your birthday and we never could get a date scheduled, so I finally gave up. A year late, but better late than never! =D
I really thought it was a pretty good day myself... things happen, you can't please everyone, no need to freak out over anything, it does no good. Maybe that's why Dave and I are pretty easy going, it's not worth getting upset most of the time. I thought for the most part we all had a good time and we appreciated the yummy food, (no worries over the brownies and cut finger, we were just grateful Dave found it), we enjoyed resting and watching a good flick, and no worries over kids, they really were all safe and fine and had fun playing together. As far as the birthday, I should have brought a dessert for Dave that day to be sure he was aknowleged too, so we could all celebrate together rather than just the 4 of us the next night. Sorry. We'll all do better! love ya, thanks for all you do for us. we'll miss you guys
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